TOP TEN WORST BANDS (THAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKES)
Some bands are rubbish and everyone agrees. Fair enough. Here are some that everyone else seems to like that I can’t stand.
1. COLDPLAY
Whining middle-of-the-road drivel with celebrity wives thrown in for good measure.
2. SNOW PATROL
Bafflingly popular light rock/pop. I mistakenly bought a copy and immediately threw it away.
3. RADIOHEAD
Depressing twaddle from overly-serious Oxford rockers. Achingly trendy but actually rubbish.
4. PINK FLOYD
Four-hour solos much loved of the be-chinoed middle classes.
5. MICHAEL JACKSON
One of the best-selling artists of all time. How many people can be so badly wrong? Vocals were little more than a high-pitched squeak, and any musical mojo was provided by session musicians or Quincy Jones.
6. BOB DYLAN
Totally incapable of hitting a note. Not much of a guitar player either. Covers of his songs are always better than the original.
7. KEANE
Insipid – truly dreadful.
8. PETE DOHERTY
Totally bereft of talent and a complete idiot.
9. FLOCK OF SEAGULLS
Their ‘Greatest Hits’ package only contains one and a half: Space Age Love Song and The More You Live The More You Love. Not exactly an enduring legacy.
10. U2/PAUL WELLER/ERIC CLAPTON
A special triple award to finish with. All these musicians are supremely talented but infuriatingly inconsistent. The master of the blues one minute, flaccid pop drivel the next. U2’s last couple of albums have no decent songs on them at all. And after a promising start to his solo career, Weller’s last five albums have been meandering drivel.
