TOP TEN WORST BANDS (THAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKES)
Some bands are rubbish and everyone agrees. Fair enough. Here are some that everyone else seems to like that I can’t stand.
1. COLDPLAY
Whining middle-of-the-road drivel with celebrity wives thrown in for good measure.
2. SNOW PATROL
Bafflingly popular light rock/pop. I mistakenly bought a copy and immediately threw it away.
3. RADIOHEAD
Depressing twaddle from overly-serious Oxford rockers. Achingly trendy but actually rubbish.
4. PINK FLOYD
Four-hour solos much loved of the be-chinoed middle classes.
5. BOB DYLAN
Totally incapable of hitting a note. Not much of a guitar player either. Covers of his songs are always better than the original.
6. KEANE
Insipid – truly dreadful.
7. PETE DOHERTY
Totally bereft of talent and a complete idiot.
8. FLOCK OF SEAGULLS
Their ‘Greatest Hits’ package only contains one and a half: Space Age Love Song and The More You Live The More You Love. Not exactly an enduring legacy.
9. RAP
All of it. Not really music at all. Just someone shouting over a backing track they have usually stolen from somewhere else. Often with lyrical themes in favour of violence and rape. Abysmal stuff.
10. U2/PAUL WELLER/ERIC CLAPTON
A special triple award to finish with. All these musicians are supremely talented but infuriatingly inconsistent. The master of the blues one minute, flaccid pop drivel the next. U2’s last couple of albums have no decent songs on them at all. And after a promising start to his solo career, Weller’s last five albums have been meandering drivel.
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